Tuesday, May 27, 2008

i hope the universe isn't trying to tell me something

it seems for the past 3 weeks or so, basically since i got home, i've had a few seriously bad dreams. i hesitate to call them nightmares because i didn't wake up in a sweat, nor screaming or crying, as some have had me doing in the past. so, these were bad, but not as bad as some others.

the two worst that stand out, and i write this now as i just had the one last night, were when i was shot and stabbed.

the one of me being shot happened the first week i was home. this kid who was sort of what people might call a "dork" or "dweeb" was going around asking people to dance (and we weren't even at a dance, just in the hallway of some school), and i told him not right now but maybe later, and he said ok and left. well, as we are all leaving the school, he pulls up in his car, and says he has one more thing to do, and he pulls out a gun and shoots me point blank in the chest (more like lower left shoulder, but it's all in the same area). for the rest of the dream i was walking around putting pressure on the wound to stop from bleeding aimlessly trying to get to a hospital.

the stabbing dream from last night had me outside some college and this big shady guy in a beanie comes over and stabs a bunch of people including me in my right side (i guess you could say, in my love handle :-P ). i remember my reaction being delayed because i didn't feel the pain right away, i even asked the dude where he had stabbed me. i'm there with the supernatural boys, jensen and jared, although i was referring to them by their character names so it's really dean and sam. i'm in the school trying to stop from bleeding to death, then all of a sudden i'm being hunted down, not even by the stabber, but others who want to finish the job. so the cops show up, who are mysteriously the cast from without a trace (why the missing persons unit was called, idk), and i keep telling them to find dean for me, but he's nowhere to be found because him and sam decided to go hunting for my pursuers. next thing i know i'm in a basketball arena hiding, all the while still looking for dean. after that it all gets a bit blurry, as dreams tend to do, but i do remember at one point i was beating some guy up who found me but i could only use my one arm and leg because my right side was all in pain, and when dean found out later he was very impressed with me. so weird.

the only other significant bad dream i can also remember having recently was when i was lost on a dark and foggy night on the TCNJ campus with no one else around and no cell phone service to call cait and ask her which way to go. and for any of you who know, now THAT is scary. *shivers* that one might have bothered me more than the others...

i looked it up, just to be safe, and turns out dreams of getting attacked, injured, or even killed, does not mean it's some premonition or omen for your death or similar events in real life, just that there are things in your life right now you are scared of or worried about and this is your subconscious manifestation of that. these are also apparently very universal themes and dreams that people have, so that makes me feel a bit better. the only thing i don't understand is why i'd be having these now as opposed to before because my life is certainly much more carefree, stressfree, and easy breezy since school is over and i got out of that apartment hell-hole. but, i guess that's why it's my subconscious!

still though... what does it say that i keep having dreams where people want to kill me?

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