Monday, August 25, 2008

only (incredible) soundtracks and (extraordinary) writing ever do this to me

This listening to a clip of "Arrival at Aslan's How" from The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian:

Good writing should be like good music. It builds, it lifts, it moves in you, and when it's finished, you go back to it again and again, a reaching hand in the dark for a thing you can't see or hear or fully understand or really even articulate, the kind you can only feel, the kind you only want to feel. And so you fall into it, turn it up, let yourself be moved to somewhere only it can bring you.

Friday, August 22, 2008

i am never going to sleep

i took an at least 2 hour nap today from 4-6, then proceeded to lay around and fall in and out of sleep until about...10??

it is now 1:08am and i am tired, yet weirdly awake and feel the need to keep finding things to do.

i've looked over all my pictures on my computer, checked my e-mail 35498 times, submitted to atlantis, looked up tons of nonsense with google, played 7825 songs on my ipod, and am now here writing a pointless blog.

at least i don't have class tomorrow, so if i end up not falling asleep until 5am, it's ok because i don't have to get up in 4 hours and walk all the way to kenan. speaking of, somewhere between the union and SLB1 are two syllabuses (syllabi??) from my ANT 207 and ENG/FST 317 class that i managed to already lose 5 minutes after i left them, so if anyone spots those floating around chancellor's walk, you know to whom they belong.

ok, i'm gonna watch a movie or something and hope i can regress to how i felt at 4pm and just pass out. wish me luck!

note to self: never do this again.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

drivers of the world...

This is a public service annoucement. The roads, from this moment on, will be a safer (or much more dangerous) place. I've just gotten a new phone, and it's got a keypad, which, ironically, means it's much harder for me to text now. And what that really means for me is this: no more texting and driving.

Actually I hardly ever did it. I could probably count on my hand the number of times I've actually done it, and mostly I tried to keep it at the stoplights, and since our city is mostly stoplights and stopped traffic, it stays fairly safe. But at least for now, until I get very, very used to my phone, all's safe.

Not really much to say, although you should go see Tropic Thunder, because it's amazing hilariousness. Having lived two years of my life with a black family, there's something really funny about white people who think they're black. Maybe it's because it's so ridiculous, and maybe it's because I know very well about the things they're imititating or whatever--sort of like those ''you know you're from wherever when" things--and of course it's a generality and of course it's exaggerated, but it's got some truth to it somewhere and it is just hilarious to me. And besides, I love my black family--and in my heart of hearts, I know how much cooler/more rhythmic they are than us (BY THE WAY I'm white) and I know I can't touch it, so (can't touch this, can't touch this, it's hammertime).

(insert: go Jamaican dude who just set the world record for the 200m. Dang he's fast.)

But nuff about race stuff. 'Cause please see my post about the Olympics, and apply here, and understand that I think it's silly to be colorblind, that we can be one people and not all be exactly the same, and it's wonderful how we're not.

And OH MAN, speaking of white people who think they're black--happy early birthday to Bo Burnham because he is also awesome hilariousness and I love it! Everyone please go listen to 3.14 Apple Pi and I'm Bo Yo and laugh until you can't breathe. You'll thank me for it later, I promise =).


Sunday, August 17, 2008

...this blog ain't big enough for the both of us...

so...has anyone noticed that there seems to only be one of us that gets around to blogging at a time?

who's in colombia...or just busy...or working immensely... or trying to unpack their life again...

honestly, why has there been such a long time from when there were posts one right after another and lovely little comments left on each other's blog??

*sigh* this depresses me.

hopefully once school picks up things will get back to normal... otherwise i fear the fate of the stolen pants!

addendum: more feet in the mouth

Meant to put this in the last entry but I was watching ER and forgot. However, it was the best one of the night, so I can't possibly leave it out =).

First, it's important to tell you that I have a crazy strong sense of smell. Actually, it's probably no stronger than most people's, but I'm really sensitive to smells, and I can almost always smell if something is there. Except sometimes I get them switched up, like, for some reason, when I smell popcorn popping, it always smell like a ham and cheese biscuit to me. No idea why. It's gonna be horrible/probably pretty humorous when I'm pregnant. I'll be walking down the bread aisle at Wal-mart (which always seems to be right near the seafood section) smelling bread mixed with fish and I'll probably just throw up right there.

Well, during the soccer game last night, I went outside and stood by the window where customers order so I could cool off. And I kept smelling what smelled like dog poop, and it was nasty. Now, earlier, some grown woman came up with her dog-child (you know those women who treat their pets like kids?) and asked for a plastic bag and I figured she needed to pick up after the dog, but I also figured it was somewhere on the other side of the stadium and didn't think any more of it. And, just saying, pets aren't allowed into the stadium. But like I said, after she took the bag I didn't think any more of it.

So there I was, standing in front of the stand and there was this horrible smell and I just couldn't contain it, so I turned to Greg was like, "GOD something smells NASTY. I keep smelling crap, I know I smell it. UGGHGHG, what is that?" And so on like that. So Greg says, "I know what it is." And, overhearing, the rewards program staff standing about twenty feet away nodded. Since I couldn't see the thing he was pointing at, he had me take x steps forward, y steps right, a little farther, a little farther, until I was standing right in front of the place that, apparently, the dog had taken a dump. About eight feet from the stand, and completely in the space where people line up.

First, that dog was tiny--fit in your purse tiny. Second, the place it had gone was like four inches wide, which is at least three inches bigger than the rest of the dog. And third, retarded woman really did not clean it up all that well. She'd, like, scraped the top layer off the grass or something, but she'd left a fair amount behind. But like I said, I am sensitive to smells, so when I walked back to the stand and could still smell it, I had to do something. So I found a cone from last year, one of those little bitty cones that people sometimes use for megaphones. Grabbed it and put it on top of the spot. Problem solved, couldn't really smell it much anymore.

Well, it gets better. There was a little three or so year old boy running around who kept trying to drive off with our golf cart. Cute kid, apart from that. And all of a sudden, I look over and Greg is laughing and pointing out the window. Little boy had the same cone, holding it to his mouth yelling through it (don't worry, it was the end that wasn't on the ground). So I ran over, the best I could without falling over from laughing, and grabbed the cone from him.

Later some staff from the athletics department cleaned it up and put dirt over it. But the smell was still there, and occasionally it was awful. Come to find out, the smartest (and most considerate) pet-owner on the planet ever had taken the half of the poop she'd picked up and put it in the trash can right next to the concession stand. The same trashcan right next to the window that the hotdogs were just inside of. Worst thing ever.

So I know sometimes I just let the worst things fall out of my mouth and I don't even know why I talk at all, but oh man I hope that woman heard me. And if nothing else, she provided a very entertaining evening =).

Anyway, I would also just like to say that several months ago, our creative writing department sent out one of their emails about different places accepting submissions, and one was a magazine calling for stories about wolflore and fairytales and that sort of thing. And it just so happened that about a month before that I'd had to write my own version of Little Red Ridinghood for my English class. It was just one of those things I'd done the night before it was due. Really straightforward, the girl wore a red jacket with a hood, she was visiting her grandma, etc. The story was cute, I guess, but had little real depth and I would never workshop it in a writing class, so I just sort of sent it in because of the coincidence and didn't really care because I know I can do a heck of a lot better and just whatever. One of those "shrug, what the heck" kinds of things.

Well, I heard back today from the editor. Now, the magazine is really small I think--the guy has a facebook and added me. And I didn't get the story in, which I expected. He said the things I thought would be issues, about it being really straightforward, etc. But he wants me to revise it for publication. Which is really cool, I'm pretty excited about it. But thing the thing I'm really, really happy about is this: the response he sent me. Whether he had flat out told me they didn't want the story or if they told me it was the most amazing thing they ever read, the fact that he sent me a personal email--and not just a few sentences. This email was five or six very long paragraphs long, full of suggestions and advice and thoughts about the story. That just amazes me. Like I said, I know it's small, so I suppose he has more time to send out personal messages like that, but the fact that he did, only that he did. I got from him as much as I would get from any professor whose job it is to do that. And I think that's wonderful. I wish all editors were/were able to be like that, and I hope that if I ever decide to become an editor that I could be that kind, and doubly so if I ever teach, which I hope to.

But right now, I'm getting dizzy again and I don't know why, so time to end the post.


Saturday, August 16, 2008

open mouth, insert foot

I am absolutely the all-time leading ruler ever of putting my foot in my mouth. Honestly, it's awful--funny later, but pretty bad when it happens because when I do it, it's one of those really horrible awkward ones and I never mean to do it but combined with not always thinking before I speak and being a bit uncensored with those kind of things anyway, things just kind of go down that way. So. Twice, just today.

First, we were in the dining hall on campus getting ready to go volunteer to move in tiny freshmens. And while we were waiting this woman came up to us and she was showing us her shoes. They're Rainbows, but they're teal. Apparently some guy who now works for the Ellen Degeneres Show convinced the company to make them in teal specifically for our school, which is cool, except for the first thing I thought when I saw them was oh God those are ugly. Now, I thought twice, decided not to say I thought they were ugly, and then asked if they were real leather (looked like the rubbery shower shoe kind). Come to find out later, that woman was the chancellor of our university. Would have been fabulous if I'd told Rosemary DePaoulo her shoes were not workin'.

And then later, I was working concessions and it was about eight thousand degrees in the wooden shed box we work in. So, called my roommate, she brought me some shorts and flipflops so I wouldn't die, but by the time she did, we were pretty busy. Before, I was just going to kick out my coworker (he's probably in his late thirties, I don't know) and change real quick before anyone could see, but since we were so busy couldn't close the stand for a minute, and I didn't have time to run to a port-o-potty or anything. But I just figured I could change in there, we could manage. So without really thinking I told the customer that I'd be back, I had to change. And Alicia, who was with me, who shielded me while I took my pants off with the door to the stand open and Greg serving customers, said, "Man that's so unsanitary." And I realized it totally is. I don't know how I'd feel if I knew the person handing me my hotdog was standing next to the hotdogs not wearing pants a minute ago.

And all that is just a fraction of how off the wall things have been lately. Craziness, crazy day. And everything's just starting, so here goes.

(p.s. I told you I never wear pants.)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

way #789 to piss me off

Sit in the parking lot in your SUV with the engine running, waiting for whoever to get out of the grocery store. Seriously? Seriously? Because I haven't been driving anywhere at all but to work and the grocery store for the last three or so weeks because gas was more than $4.00 a gallon when I got back from South America and basically I spent all my money while I was down there and now it's either gas or some other bill. And everyone's like oh, whatever we need to do to lessen our reliance on foreign oil, and No drilling Alaska when I'm pretty sure it's all going to run out anyway eventually, whether it's ours first or theirs. And since we can't make up our mind what we want to do, our best in-between is sitting in running parked cars because THAT conserves gas.

And not even kidding, I pulled up next to this SUV which, as I've said, had its engine turned on, and when I finished shopping and rolled up next to my car, guess what was STILL THERE with its engine STILL ON with the same skinny beach ho reclined in her seat, hair blowing in the air conditioning wind.

There's this movie called Fried Green Tomatoes, and if you love southern movies for women--Steel Magnolias-esque, only less classic--it's quite lovely, and funny too. So there's this part where one of the characters gets really mad that these two young girls stole the parking spot she'd been waiting to park in and all of a sudden she just snaps. Goes from letting everyone walk all over her to ramming those girls' car about seven times. Movie-style, in my head, with my little car and its band-aid on the back, that's what was happening.

Seriously though. If you want to waste your gas that way, shut the hell up. Or fill up my tank. Or buy a Hybrid and turn it off when you're not driving. Thanks guys.


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

i am in love with the jonas brothers

soooooo...just got in from the concert and OH.MY.GOD. *insert shriek of screaming teenage girl fan*

it was AMAZING. i, like, don't even have words to being to describe how amazing and awesome and incredible and insane and wonderful it was. but, i guess those are a few good ones to give you an idea :-P i maxed out my over 100 picture memory card and all my almost 20 minute recording space. so, we were kinda up in the nosebleeds, what turned out to literally be the LAST row in the garden, but it was still so ridiculously FANTASTIC that i barely noticed. (except for maybe when joe was running around the stage reaching out and touching the hands of the girls right there on the floor...then i wasn't so happy to be that far away...but other than that!)

OH YEAH, AND.... that concert was being filmed for the 3D movie coming out next year of the tour. that's right! all across america in theaters everywhere will be the concert that i was sitting in! i can watch and see a certain part and say, "GUESS WHAT?! I WAS TOTALLY THERE. SAW IT IN PERSON. OWNED."

ok, maybe not QUITE like that..haha..but something to that effect. it is now 2:30am and i am STILL so freaking pumped and excited from being in the same room with joe jonas, the rest of the bros, and demi lovato that i don't foresee sleep anywhere in my near future, which is why i thought i would come on here and share that little bit with you. i'm gonna go and try to wind down or something. wish me luck!

p.s. everyone should go out today (of course at normal hours) and buy their new album!!! i know i am!!!

oh, and one last thing...clearly i'm still a 12 year old actually almost 20 year old. for instance, i bought a way overpriced $35 t-shirt with their faces on it and i
can't wait to wear it!!! like i care! whatevs. they are awesome and i love them and i am OBVIOUSLY not afraid to show it. but hey, that's just the way i roll! ;-)

Monday, August 11, 2008

obligatory ''i'm alive'' post: ie /go world/

I promised. I've been promising for nearly two months now. I've had that very real thing called intention most of the time, but also that thing where you don't follow through and you just come out saying you'll do it and disappointing your kids and becoming a bad father or something. Since I've been watching first and second season ER episodes obsessively, everything reminds me of ER. And I remind myself of George Clooney right now. Can't commit to the blog, can't give it the quality time it needs, will go looking for ways to mess it up. Or something like that, I don't know, I'm rusty at this and I really just keep thinking about ER and I'm not sure why. But hey! Hey. First, a story. This is a true story, a very ironic story (but I WON'T SAY WHY), and the perfect description of my wonderful hybrid ghetto redneck neighborhood. (Seriously, I love where I live).

Was taking out the trash the other day. The only reason I do this as of late is so I can run into my Spanish speaking maintence dude, Jaime, who incidentally is amazing and also from Bogotá. However, on the way there, trying to look around all inconspicuously and walk slowly in case he comes out (the guy gives me fresh peaches sometimes and does many very cute things, so, really, this is justifiable), all of a sudden out of nowhere this girl about my age comes running out of her house like someone's chasing her with a knife or something. And then I hear Girl's momma or somebody hollerin' from behind her:


Not even kidding. Roughly, this was translated from "eeuhts state-chuh-torry ripe, jeanie, dawn't doooouht." Honestly, the southern english language is about impossible. Anyway, Girl throws herself into her car and tears out down the street, assumabely into her fourteen year old lover's arms, mexi-stach and cut-sleeve tank tops and all (to show off his muscles, of course).

And that, my friends, was the highlight of my week. And not in an oh my life there's nothing happening but ER and work, but in a that was incredible and doesn't actually happen in real life, only ever happens here in the slowed down southern world way. For this reason, Miss Nicole will be travelling back HOME within the week. We miss you!

So, this is my life now. Working, waiting for school to start. Everything seems sort of on hold right now, like I'm just waiting to get to the part where everything starts back up again. I'm not sure what it is, only that everything was holding while I was Colombia, too, but in a different way. I didn't post while I was there for the same reason I didn't take very many pictures. (In total, I took about seventy, while my roommate's boyfriend took over a thousand.) What I mean is that, one particularly cold night, Alicia's dad drove us all up to this point on the mountain you can see in the picture from her window, and we stood on the edge of the road and I just looked and looked at it. This whole lit-up thing. And all of a sudden (not for the first time), I didn't want to leave, I just wanted to watch the city, remember exactly the way it looked and felt up there and close my eyes and pretend it wouldn't end.

So, same thing. Although it makes less sense with writing, because generally that's how I remember things. But I just wanted to remember it and throw myself into Colombia like when you turn the music up so loud that there's only that and everything else is just afterward, and everything sounds different.

That said, I wrote a few things, but not Pants kind of blogs. But after all of that, when I first got back, I hated it. I wanted Colombia so much I just hated everything about being back and really was pretty drained from being around people constantly for a month and a half, so I just sort of turned into a bear and hibernated (ironic, since coming back to fatty, processed American food had its effect on me and I'm officially normal-sized person now, which is fairly unusual, having always been a bit undersized, and I'm still kind of adjusting to it). I'll say this: I've since reconciled with being in the States, lest anyone think I'm harboring anti-American tendencies. No worries--and besides, you should hear me go on (gush) about the Olympics. Very proud of our swimmers, currently.

But yes, so I don't know where I'm going with all this. Watching the Olympics as I type. Men's diving: United States: 5th; Colombia: 6th. I really love the Olympics, especially the summer ones. And really, part of the reason I love them so much is the same reason I'm so against globalization. I see all the countries, all the different cultures and how much people love their people and there's something to the identity in that. I'm doing a bad job of what I mean, but globalization sterilizes that. We can be one people without being the same people, and for that, while I understand the reasons other people wanted to, I'm glad we didn't boycott.

Anyway, haha, this is what happens when I don't blog for two months, I just go on all kinds of different tangents for five hours. But we're back now. We being me, since Nicole held down the fort all summer because she is AMAZING! And if you're reading, thanks for not forgetting about us. Be back soon.


Sunday, August 10, 2008

you're the light that makes my darkness disappear

well, kids... here it is. i am proud to write the first substantial, significant post in, well... a really long time. who's excited?! i know i am!

do you see that date? it's august! august, for crying out loud! where has the summer gone? i feel like it was just yesterday classes were ending and everyone was going off doing their own things, and now here we are, all coming back together and classes are just around the corner... in a little over a week! it's madness!

how i spent my summer vacation: working nearly 40 hours a week, somehow ending up at the movie theater even when i wasn't working those almost 40 hours a week because there were LOTS of movies i needed to see that include going to
the dark knight midnight showing (my first midnight showing ever) and in IMAX (which was AWESOME by the way), watching america's got talent/secret lives of women with melinda (and sometimes cait), playing in the middle of the street in the pouring rain with cait, getting my first massage/facial ever, panera/maggie moo's dates with lizzie, going to my last yankee games at the old stadium, and topping it all off with my very first concert EVER: THE JONAS BROTHERS @ MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!

now, let me comment on that last point there. the concert is tomorrow night. in less than 24 hours i will be screaming at the top of my lungs and singing along for every song because i of course know all the words with over 15,000 other jobros fans, most who will, admittedly, be younger than me, but do i care? not one bit! i am going to buy a ridiculous over-priced tour t-shirt and take pictures that will probably be indiscernible to anyone but me as our seats are in the 400s... but it is all good. i'm so ridiculously excited it doesn't even matter. i am going to be in the same room with the jonas brothers (specifically joe<3) and that is all that counts! ah! best day ever!!! come on... tell me you don't think they are adorable! [for those that don't know (shame!) from left to right: nick, kevin, joe] anyway, there will undoubtedly be a post in the near future where i will be ranting and raving on about just how fabulous it really was and better than i even expected, so look out for that.

overall, it's been a pretty nice summer. i wish it could go on longer, but as i've already said goodbyes to almost everyone, it's nice to be getting back to my NC loves that i've been away from for FAR too long and remind myself that oh, yeah, i'm a college student. not to mention a 3rd year college student. uh, when did that happen? i think i need to have a serious discussion with father time. remind me to do that.

so, since i'm leaving in 3 days i should probably start packing or something, right? i would do some tomorrow, but there's kind of no point since i know i'm just going to be tearing apart my closet looking for the perfect concert outfit, ya know, in case from 4 levels aaaallllll the way down joe notices me and tells me to meet him backstage after the show, even though it will inevitably end up just being jeans and a shirt, so any time i would spend trying to organize things would just be wasted. i'll just save myself the trouble and do everything the day before i leave. like that wasn't going to happen ANYWAY? haha

when i finally do get down to good old NC, my aunt and i will be beaching it and gallavanting around town for a week before classes start. going to arlie gardens, and orton plantation, and southport! i am super excited, and a little mad at myself that it's taken this long for me to get around to seeing everything. i feel like i haven't left s. college and market st. i'm finally getting out there! i'll be sure to update everyone on our adventures next week. thanks for sticking with us through the treacherous nearly blog-free summer. it's good to be back! :-)