Tuesday, September 2, 2008

puns, politics, and mccain is digging his grave

1. I broke my car key off--my titatium key, the one that's probably thirteen years old but is also as heavy as half a roll of quarters--in my car door. I've got a picture, but it's on my new phone, and I still haven't figured out how to get it off yet.

2. At work Sunday, the golf cart we were driving to the soccer game (which we won, by the way, and it was incredible, very movie-like-intense) decided to run out of battery. But mind you, it only ran out of battery in forward. SO I got to drive about a third of way to the soccer field in REVERSE. Basically that's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Things like that only ever happen to us.

3. I'm sure I'm already forgetting some.

4. On a more serious note, I had a conversation in Spanish with a guy from Central America and although I honestly spoke pretty badly, apart from one question, it was completely in Spanish and I swear I got a rush from it.

5. And oh man THE PUNS! Really, you can skip the rest of this post and just read the puns. One by the great and wondrous Tim Bass and the other by me. Both brilliance.

Expanded version below:

1. All right. So this is what happened. Got off work (secretary job, not the concessions job) at one, headed out to my car to leave. Now, my key is pretty big. So sometimes I don't get it all the way in the lock before turning it just because the thing is so long, and it doesn't turn--but it's not anything at all, I just make sure it's in all the way and the car opens, easy enough. Well, that's what happened, it wasn't all the way in before I turned it. Except all of a sudden my wrist kept turning and my arm had pulled away from the door. And I just looked at my key in disbelief. That thing is pretty dang solid. Or was, I don't know.

So after I pulled out the piece of the key that was stuck in the lock (apparently, lucky for me, I was able to save about $200 doing that), I got a ride, got my spare from Alicia, and then went over to the Nissan dealership. First, they charged me $9 for a new copy of my key, which I was a bit upset about, but while waiting for them, two amazing things happened:

Had my conversation in Spanish with another guy waiting who had overheard me rocking out to ManĂ¡ (band from Mexico), and it really just reinforces me wanting to go to a Spanish speaking country(ies) this summer. For at least two months. The other three or four weeks shall be designated to visiting friends who go far away for the summer (very sad face). I'm going to be fluent in Spanish, it's only a matter of how long, and that's it.

Best thing ever though--when I told the guy who worked for Nissan that I'd broken the key and showed it to him, he and his coworker looked from me to the key and back again with looks on their faces that absolutely said: "How in God's name did she do that??" I still have no idea. Complete disbelief. Only word for it.

2. Pretty much self explanatory. We drove the golf cart for at least two minutes in reverse. It was a rush, let me tell you. And oh man, I even backed it through a fence and up next to the concessions stand and dodged a bicylcer coming straight for me. All while weighed down by all our stuff, going downhill in the mud, a thunderstorm looming overhead. It was a feat, wish you'd been there to laugh with us =).

3&4. Turns out I did, and see number one. Actually, we'll use these for the conversation I just had with my roommate's boyfriend, Scott. So we're talking about McCain, and no offense to any McCain supporters (this does not mean I'm an Obama fan either--and I did choose to use the word fan instead of supporter for a reason) but oh man. Okay, so we're talking about how basically things just keep getting worse and worse for him in terms of winning the presidency. First, Sarah Palin. And her pregnant teenage daughter. This is bad because she voted for abstinence only sex education, and I don't know whether or not I agree with her on that or not, but sucks for her image that her daughter's pregnant now. And also, about six months ago she voted to slash funding for homes for pregnant teens.

And then there's the fact that McCain is really the walking dead. Scott was telling me about how everytime he forgets what his stance on a particular political subject is (yes, he forgets--possibly the alzheimer's?) first, to state that he did in fact forget, and then to say that his stance is whatever the president's is. Does he know what Bush's approval rating is?? Are you serious?? How does that help him in anyway whatsoever? So then I said that he's just digging his grave deeper and deeper. Ah-hah, because he's so old, I love it.

5. And now for the (intended) puns:

Tim Bass (greatest professor in the entire world--literally, you will cry from laughter the entire class, every single time. And you'll learn a lot and be slightly intimidated, but mostly just be in awe of the wit) walked into another class of mine before it started a few days ago, and one of the students had brought brownies to class, so another says, "Hey Tim, you want a brownie?"

He waits for a second, gets that mischiefy smile on his face, and responds, "If you were offering me Indian food, I'd accuse you of trying to curry favor!" Teheheheee.

And second one. I was having a conversation about music with a friend of mine, and he started talking about ska. So I said that was cool, did he mean like Five Iron Frenzie, that kind of thing? He did, and then started naming a few bands, so I asked if he'd heard of Enter the Haggis. He hadn't, so I told him that he should definitely listen to them, that they were awesome, that they weren't your typical ska (ie Five Iron Frenzy), but they were still ska-ish. Oh yessss, I said it.

=) it's been a good week.

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